Beck: Did you drift apart for a little while or something? Jess: No. Aisha: No.
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Aisha: I feel like making friends is so hard these days. I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle over the next month to help me make friends.
I just typed in the word acronym when we were talking about it and I realized this could be its own book—all of the acronyms that Kwon does not understand. Aisha: I bring him everywhere.
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makd As opposed to just the bigger moments. Aisha: Yeah, I agree percent. I really wanted to tell her in person, but then I just got so, so nervous and I chickened out.
I remember one time, she caught me in a lie. She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee. Chris: Oh my God.
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Normally, you get ready in the locker room, and then you stand around and chat with your friends before the teacher blows the whistle. One time I was mocking some people at work, and I said that they think that everyone is just an SJW, meaning social-justice warrior. Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan. Aisha: Still, to this day, Kwon is my chaperone for everything.
All my friends are married with. Chris: I never regret it. I decided to keep our appointment. This little friend circle right here is just something else. Aisha: After we graduated, everyone [in our friend group] would log in and we would all videochat.
I was like, Why would Julie want to see a screenshot of us sharing our lunches? The three of us hung out often.
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Aisha: Yeah. And is it just during the workday? Chris: Yeah, could she read our minds or something? Then, naturally, the videochats got smaller and smaller, and our friend group broke off into different things.
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And she started working in [New York]. Chris: She has records of you saying something—be careful. Aisha: I specifically remember toward the end of junior year, I was in gym class with one of our other friends, Ariella.
Chris Kwon: I have to interject: I hate how accurate this story is. Jess: A big chunk of it is during the workday. And a lot of them are very nice. Jess: Which is hard because I literally type everything in acronyms. Aisha: Also, Kwon had a major transformation. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. They were at one point roommates while going to school. And now I have a personal record of it on my Gmail. Jess: But fgiends minute high school ended, almost all of us stopped talking to each other.
Does that feel true for you guys? Those with social anxiety struggle because they are in their head and second guess themselves. I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged friwnds on Instagram. Aisha: I would say literally every day of my life. Aisha: No. I had a first date with someone and I was gonna meet him at the Russian Tea Room. Chris: Same. It was such a relief for me to hear that from her. I had moved to the next town over from our college, and that was about an hour train ride [from New York City.
Aisha: More specifically, I mentioned it before, my parents were super strict growing up.
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He eats so well; he goes to the gym twice a day sometimes. And then, the rest of the night I have no recollection whatsoever, and I ended up dating this guy for a year. Beck: Does each person have a certain role that you play in your Gchat dynamic? Aisha: When you asked for screenshots, I had the hardest time trying to find things because everything to me, looking back on it, felt so mundane.
But some of these people are so rude.
Beck: At what point did Gchat become important to your friendship? If you or someone you know should be featured on The Friendship Files, get in touch at friendshipfiles theatlantic.
He was gonna give me a pep talk, like he usually does. Jess: Sha graduated a year before me from college. So you guys have at this point started Gchatting all the time. I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame.
One day, this guy was just really railing on me for 30 minutes, and it got to the point where I hung up and I was fighting back angry tears.